Listening is related to hearing, one of the five senses. We are creatures that hear, and this hearing serves many purposes. The crackling of a branch or an unknown sound alerts us to the possibility of a threat or danger. The voice of a loved one or the notes of a familiar song give us comfort or stir up a yearning. But as a spiritual practice, listening goes far beyond hearing.
The etymology of “listen” comes from a Proto-Germanic root with a variety of meanings. The root word can mean desire or want. It is the same root for the word “lust.” Listening is more than just vibrations entering our ears and being interpreted in our brains. There is a yearning, a seeking after or a seeking for in our listening. The root word can also mean to follow, to track, to pursue. Hearing is something that just happens. Listening is something active. It has meaning and direction. It has purpose and intent.
The spiritual practice of listening is connected to many of the other practices we have considered. Listening involves attention and being present. You can imagine ways that listening is connected to wonder and mystery. This kind of listening attunes us to the voices of others. It attunes us to our own inner voices. This kind of listening puts us in touch with our intuition and conscience.
Early in his reign as king, Solomon is invited by God to ask for anything he wants, and it will be given to him. You’ve probably heard many times that Solomon asks for wisdom, but that’s not entirely accurate. He asks for a discerning or understanding mind. One of biblical translations says that Solomon asked for a “listening heart.”
From a biblical perspective, the heart is not just about emotions and feelings. The heart is your control center; it is the place of your will and your intentions. It is the source of your thoughts, actions, and words. So, to listen with the heart is to listen, as much as we can, with all our being.
Listening as a spiritual practice, then, is a special kind of listening. There can be many intentions to our listen.
For example, the goal of a lot of our listening is to respond. The purpose of this listening to is to exchange information or to solve a problem. It is the kind of listening we do in most everyday interactions with others.
Think back to the last conversation you had with a friend. Or pay attention to the next conversation you have. Your friend starts to say something. You are listening to what they are saying. But at some point, you start formulating a response to what they are saying. When you have the chance, you share your response.
There is nothing wrong with this kind of listening. It is basic part of our ability to communicate, make plans, and get things done. But notice what happens. When I start formulating a response to my friend at some level, I have stopped listening. Or I’m certainly not listening as fully as I was before.
Listening as a spiritual practice is not listening simply to respond. You listen to understand.
The goal of this kind of listening is to create a physical and emotional space for the other person to be present to the thoughts and feelings they are sharing. By the way you are with someone, you are saying, “I’m here. You be who you are. You can say what you want. I will just go along with you.”
Perhaps the best way to get in touch with this kind of listening is to remember when you have experienced it for yourself. It feels like a gift, because it is a gift. You experience the freedom to explore your jumbled thoughts in the presence of some who is giving you their full presence. They are a witness to all that you are sharing without judgment or comment. When that happens, you are able to be connected, to understand more fully what is true inside of you.
This gift that another has given to you is one that you can share with others. And it is a gift that our world desperately needs. So many people are trying to share what is important to them. They want to share what gives them meaning. They want to share their hopes and dreams for themselves and the world.
But their sharing is often met by responding, not understanding. And that responding is often disagreement and even ridicule. What is so important to someone is called wrong by another, or dismissed altogether.
The spiritual practice of listening is connected to the practice of humility.
Imagine you are having a conversation with someone that you don’t know. The topic is one that can be emotionally charged…political or religious in nature. As the discussion unfolds, you realize that there are significant differences between you and the other person on this topic. Now, notice what can happen. You start to formulate a picture of this person. They are liberal or conservative. They are a fundamentalist or a progressive. They are a Republican or a Democrat.
Notice what is happening. You are no longer listening to understand. You are listening to respond, and the responses you are making are labels that restrict your ability to be present and open to this person. And if the other person is doing the same thing to you, at some point, both of you will dismiss the other.
But the spiritual practice of listening allows us to enter fully into the presence of the other because we enter humbly into that presence. Whatever this other person may be, they are a child of God like you. Because they are a brother or sister, we can assume that we have something that we can receive from them.
In my next blog, I will consider some simple and specific ways we can do the spiritual practice of listening. But for now, I welcome your thoughts. Does listening as a spiritual practice feel different from other types of listening? What are those differences?