When I began this Advent journey of joy, I spoke of how, during this season, people of faith have the opportunity to be genuinely counter-cultural. Instead of the frenzied shopping days of Christmas, we have the quiet, reflective days of Advent.
You can also see this countercultural tendency in the traditional themes of Advent. Hope is more than the optimism of today; it is bringing the future promises of God to bear on the present. Peace is more than the absence of conflict; it is a shalom that offers fullness and completeness to everyone. Love is more than sentimental emotion; it is committed action to the well-being of others.
And joy. We have already mentioned how joy is far more than happiness. Frederick Buechner talks about this distinction:
We need to be reminded too that joy is not the same as happiness. Happiness is man-made—a happy home, a happy marriage, a happy relationship with our friends and within our jobs. We work for these things, and if we are careful and wise and lucky, we can usually achieve them. Happiness is one of the highest achievements of which we are capable, and when it is ours, we take credit for it, and properly so. But we never take credit for our moments of joy because we know that they are not man-made and that we are never really responsible for them. They come when they come. They are always sudden and quick and unrepeatable.
The Hungering Dark
Of course, it is easy to read these words and wonder: So, do I just go through my life and wait for joy to show up?
While we can never take credit for moments of joy, we can maintain a stance of openness to them. While they may come when they come, it doesn’t keep us from looking for them. We don’t live life in a mundane way, and suddenly, joy shows up. In fact, joy can be all around us, in moments we never imagined. Joy can go unseen, unless you pay attention. Then, it starts to show up everywhere.
Here are some ways to open our lives to experiencing joy.
Don’t forget the connection between joy and sadness.
Sorrow and gladness are not just intertwined. You could say that they are necessary to each other. And our willingness to allow this relationship to unfold enriches our lives.
If you are experiencing grief, yes, it is important to feel the emptiness of the loss. But also remember, and embrace, that you are feeling this way because of the deep connection you felt with this person or animal or relationship. Spend some moments living in the joy of that deep connection.
Remember times that you have laughed so hard that you cried. Remember the laughter that you shared, along with the tears, at a funeral, as you told stories of this one you loved.
Invite joy into your life by staging celebrations.
If you are moving into a new house, plan a housewarming party. Or plan a ritual that involves a blessing of your new home. Other transitions lend themselves to celebrations. A new job or a promotion. It could be as simple as planning a celebration at the end of a long week or a difficult challenge.
When I finished all the requirements for my Doctor of Ministry degree, I got the notice for graduation. It was the end of a long process. Staying in Chicago for a month four times over two years for seminars. Writing lots of post-seminar papers. Developing and implementing an empirical research project. Writing up the results of that project. Finding ways to support myself while I did all these things.
As I was thinking back over the last 4 years, I said to myself, “That was a lot of work. I’ll just have them mail the degree to me.” Fortunately, I had a group of friends who saw it differently. “Yes, that was a lot of work. And now it’s time to celebrate.” They sat with me as I booked my flight and made plans. To this day, I can remember the grandeur of the graduation ceremony and embracing something that very few people do.
Who are your patron saints of joy?
Go back through your life and reflect on those people who gave you joy. Most likely, there are people who immediately come to mind. But stay with it, and there will be those people who are on the edges of your life, but still, they bring you joy. The cashier you see every time you go through the checkout line at the store. The person you see every day on your morning walk.
As you reflect on how they bring joy to you, commit to speaking to them or writing to them to let them know about their place in your life.
Collect moments of joy that happen around you.
Notice strangers enjoying themselves and vicariously join them. Make up a story about what is happening with them that brings them such joy.
Rejoice in the good fortune of someone else. Doing this can overcome the tendency to feel there is a limited supply of happiness and someone else is getting your share. Think of all the people being married right now. All the people welcoming a new child or getting a promotion or relaxing on a vacation.
Put on some music and dance.
Music and dance are ways we express joy. Music stirs a feeling that is so powerful, it impacts the body. We start moving. It puts us in the now. In the present moment. Joy is right here.
With music and dancing, we give birth to joy. We bring it to life. After all, joy is about pleasure, and that is something we feel in our body. Think of something that is part of the routine of your life. Can you add music and dance to it?
Create an atmosphere and legacy of joy.
It is not just about looking for moments that incite joy in you. What are ways that you can incite and share joy with others?
It could be a note or a gift of appreciation that expresses deeply how much a person has touched your life. Send someone a song; invite them to enjoy it or dance to it the same way you have done. Perform a simple act of kindness without the other person knowing.
We are living in a world that needs the presence of joy. It is right and good to reflect on the meaning of joy in this season. But Advent is a season that prepares the world for the one who offers the promise of deep and lasting joy. So may we accept the invitation to be the incarnation of joy in the world.