I Love, I Desire Therefore I Am

In previous posts, we have considered two ways to describe the essence of human identity.  These are ways to answer the questions: Who am I?  How am I called to be and live in this world? 

I think, therefore I am.  Or you are what you think.

I believe, therefore am.  Or you are what you believe.

There are others we could add to the list. 

I feel, therefore I am.  It is this ability to have complex emotions that sets us apart from the rest of the animal world, so listening to and expressing these emotions is what shapes how we are in the world.

I do, therefore I am.  What we think and believe and feel are important, but it all comes down to how we act and the choices we make. 

To be sure, all of these capture some things that are important about who we are as human beings.  But important is not the same as foundational or essential.  Remember, we are going beyond what it means for me to be human.  Instead, we ask: What it means for every person to be human?

But do any of these really capture our primordial orientation to the world?  Is there an image that describes an essence, character, and nature, that is true for everyone?  

I love, therefore I am.  You are what you love.

I desire, therefore I am.  You are what you desire.

Recently, I offered the thoughts I am sharing in these posts at a workshop that I called, “You Are What You Love: A Spirituality of Desire.”  It was important for me to include both of those words. In fact, I might prefer the word “desire” over “love.”  I struggle with what the world has done with the word “love.”  Its understanding and experience of love often does not go beyond emotionality or sentimentality.  But I also struggle with what the Christian faith has done with the word “love.”  The church uses the Greek word “agape” to talk about love.  It describes a love that is broad and universal. But in an attempt to keep it from being confused with emotion, love has become too dispassionate and objective.  

Desire is more evocative.  Desire carries the meaning of wishing or longing for.  The Latin origin of the word may come from the phrase, de sidere, which means “from the stars.”  Desire involves awaiting and anticipating what the stars may bring.

So, how does “you are what you desire/love” capture what is essential and foundational about who we are as human beings?

Do we really engage and live in this world primarily as thinkers or believers?  Yes, we feel the power of thoughts, ideas, and beliefs.  But where does that power come from? Does it come from being convinced because of how logical and sensible they are?  Or does it go beyond being convinced and persuaded to being attracted to what is behind these ideas and beliefs?  Perhaps they resonate with a vision of the good life that is affective, even aesthetic? 

Is the end and goal of our lives really aimed at understanding and giving expression to a collection of ideas or propositions or doctrine?  Is it about a list of abstract, disembodied concepts or values? It is not so much that we are pushed by belief; we are pulled by a direction and an end that we long for.  In his book, You Are What You Love, James K. A. Smith puts it this way: “It’s not so much that we’re intellectually convinced and then muster the willpower to pursue what we ought; rather, at a precognitive level, we are attracted to a vision of the good life that has been painted for us in stories and myths, images and icons.”

An example.  

“But I say to you that listen, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.”  These are some of Jesus’ most challenging words.  What do we do with them? 

There will be moments where we wonder about the meaning of these words.  What, really, is Jesus trying to say?  What does it mean to love, do good, and pray?  Are there specific contexts that Jesus has in mind?  These are important and challenging ideas and I need to understand them as fully as I can to know what to do with them.  I think, therefore, I am.

There will be moments when we feel the power of this teaching.  Jesus is the one whom I have chosen to follow, and he has spoken these challenging words.  They are important to him, and so they must be important to me.  I want to know fully the meaning of Jesus’ words so I can give expression to them in my life.  I believe, therefore, I am.

But, as Smith says, it is not just about being convinced of the truth of these words and finding the will power to express them.  Before all of that, there is a way these words, at a precognitive level, resonate with us?  Even before we consider their meaning and application, these words are attractive to us.  We feel their challenge, but we know that challenge comes from the hope they can offer to our lives, the hope they can offer to the world.  I love/desire, therefore I am.

There will be more to say about love/desire in future posts.  We will explore questions like: What do we mean, what are we really talking about when we say desire?  How is desire connected to our understanding and experience of God?  How can seeing ourselves from the place of desire shape our living, especially our living as disciples of Christ?

But I will pause for now and let you respond.  What do you think about the idea of “you are what you love/desire” as the foundational description of who we are?  Can you feel the difference between this stance and “you are what you think” or “you are what you believe”?  What is that difference?  I look forward to your thoughts and reflections.