A Sermon Based on James 1:17-27 and Ephesians 4:29-5:1
This past Sunday I had the opportunity to preach at First Christian Church of Norman Oklahoma. This is the community where I served for over 16 years as Minister of Discipleship, leading a variety of groups, classes, workshops, and seminars. It was good to be there again with these people who have meant so much to me. I decided to share the sermon on this blog, since so many of the ideas I share here were inspired by my time at First Christian.
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They are words that you may have spoken as a child. Perhaps you have taught them to your children as well. Words recited by children on playgrounds and other settings across the world: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words (names) can never hurt me. They can be a defense against name-calling and verbal bullying. They may help a child avoid physical retaliation, and to remain calm.
And yet, the phrase also carries a great irony. “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me” is a phrase that you say in the very moment words have been spoken that do hurt. We speak them with a tone of defiance, but usually, they come from the heart of someone who has felt the sting of another person’s verbal expression.
Words matter. They matter when we are growing up, and even if we don’t say the rhyme anymore, they matter to us as adults. The power of words can be seen in their sheer volume. There is volume in the sense of quantity. Words are everywhere. On the written page. On your iPad or Kindle. On the TV or the medium that we have come to call talk radio. Words even glare down at you from brightly lit billboards along the highway.
But there is not just the volume in terms of quantity. There is also the volume in terms of loudness. People believe that their words really matter. People believe that the words of others don’t matter, because they are different, even opposed, to their own. And they can get louder and louder to make their point, or if they believe they aren’t being heard. We even have the ability now to increase our volume when we write. If I type something in all caps and follow it with several exclamation points, it means I am typing in a really loud voice.
Even with the bravado of “sticks and stones” we know that words really do matter. So it is no surprise that the scriptures are filled with images about the power of speech. We find sayings about speech scattered throughout the book of Proverbs. If your heart is wise, your lips will speak what is right. From the fruit of their lips people enjoy good things, but the unfaithful have an appetite for violence. The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things. In the multitude of words sin is not lacking, but he who restrains his lips is wise. Over and over, there are proverbs about appropriate speech, wise and foolish words, controlling your speech, slander and gossip and other kinds of hurtful speech.
And then there are these words about speech from the books of Ephesians: Letting no evil talk coming out of your mouths. Speaking words that are useful for building up and giving grace to those who hear. And words from the book of James. James is often described as an ethical treatise. It doesn’t offer a lot of theological exploration like Paul. It talks in plain and simple terms about how to order your life. But there is a context for these ideas about living. James is not about being a good person in some general, moral sense. It is about giving expression, in specific and tangible ways, to our identity as disciples of Christ.
You can see this in the text we heard earlier. Be quick to listen and slow to speak. Be doers of the word and not just hearers. Bridling your tongue. Pure and undefiled religion is not about right belief, but it is caring for orphans and widows and keeping yourself unstained by the world.
James believes that one of the most significant ways we express this identity as disciples of Christ is with our words, so he gives them plenty of attention. Later in chapter three of his book, with images like a bridle in a horse’s mouth or the rudder of a ship, he talks about how the tongue is a “small member, yet it boasts of great exploits.” He describes it as a small fire that can set ablaze a forest. Clearly, words matter to James.
As I was reflected on these texts over the last few weeks, I became more aware of all the speech going on around me. Sometimes when there is so much of it that it is easy to go into autopilot and not hear it. I also became more aware of my own words…what I say and how and when I speak. And then I realized that with this awareness, the text was doing its job. I was not opening up the scripture and mining it for its meaning. I was letting scripture open me up, and if I was willing, change some things about my life.
I also thought a lot about Mr. Brummit. He was my Sunday school teacher when I was in 9th or 10th grade. Today, I can’t even remember his first name. He will forever be Mr. Brummit to me. I can’t say that I remember a lot of the lessons that Mr. Brummit taught in the couple of years that he was my teacher. But I do remember how he was there faithfully every Sunday and how he cared for us, which is not always easy with a group of rowdy teenage boys.
But there is one lesson that I have never forgotten. We were studying verse 29 from Ephesians 4. Let no evil talk come out of your mouths. We were reading the King James which uses the word “corrupt.” Mr. Brummit pointed out that the word could also mean rotten. He helped us realize that we were talking about more than using curse words or calling people names.
But only what is useful for building up, as there is need, so that your words may give grace to those who hear. He invited us to consider that words are not neutral; they can build up or they can tear down. He invited us to wonder if the words we are about to say needed to be said, that we have choice whether to say them or not. He invited us to imagine how our words could give grace. Up to that point in my Southern Baptist life, grace was something that God gave to me when I was saved. So grace was a powerful force in the world, and I had never considered that I had the ability to convey that force to another, just by how I spoke to them.
By this time, the room of rowdy adolescents was very quiet, a rare occurrence. Maybe Mr. Brummit sensed the rarity, or holiness, of the moment. With his next words, he gave us an assignment. This week, young men, as you go through the day, as you interact with your friends at school, or your family at home, before you start to speak to them, ask yourself: Is this speech evil or corrupt? Will it build up the person you are talking to? Is it needed? Will it give grace to the hearer? If the answer is yes, then say it. If the answer is no, stop and reconsider. We will see how you did next week.
Now the odds of a Sunday school homework assignment getting done for a whole week is fairly low. But the next week, the whole class was excited to share what they had experienced doing this assignment. Most of us admitted that the number of words we spoke that week were considerably less. We talked about moments where we realized how hurtful our words would have been if we spoke them. We talked about being aware of how the words of others impacted us.
When I was growing up, I would often hear parents and other adults say: Watch your mouth. Watch your tongue. They were words of stern warning because of something that had been said. These words from James, and Ephesians, and Proverbs, and all the other texts in scripture, are saying the same thing. But with the help of Mr. Brummit, instead of hearing them as a warning, maybe we can hear them as an invitation. An invitation to consider, to wonder about, the words we speak.
There are words to speak to family members and loved ones. Watch them. There are words to speak to coworkers and friends. Watch them. There are words that you will write in letters and emails. Watch them. There are words you will post on social media that can reach hundreds, thousands of people or more. Watch them. There are words that you say to yourself about yourself, words that are often critical, judgmental. Watch them. There are deep feelings, thoughts, and desires that are the source of all these words. Watch them. Wonder about them.
There is a lot of talk these days about free speech. That freedom is often understood as the right to say whatever I want when I want. I am also free to say it in whatever tone or manner that I choose. If I have a strong emotional reaction to the words of another, it confirms that I am right and the other is wrong, and so, speak forcefully from that place of emotion. And yet, as disciples of Christ, freedom of speech goes beyond saying whatever we want. It is deciding whether the words should be spoken in the first place, and if so, how they are spoken. So with thoughts from James and Ephesians and yes, Mr. Brummit, may we respond faithfully, not to the warning, but the invitation to “watch your mouth,” to “watch your words.”